Farm Boy VS Bad Boy

Joseph James – Hop Box Imperial IPA vs. Charleville – Hoptimistic IPA

Most people from Arkansas will be cheering for the farm boy, or anything that comes from a farm.
Timmy, watch out for the tractor!

The next two contenders in the tournament are worlds apart in many ways. A hayseed farm boy from the Midwest, Hoptimistic plowed his way to this tournament by winning the Carhartt Invitational earlier in the year. Known for his hard work in the hop fields and in the practice ring, Hoptimistic hopes to win the IPA Beer Brawl and use the prize money to buy an engagement ring for his high-school sweetheart, Chardonnay.

His opponent is a parolee from the deserts of Nevada. Hop Box was freed from prison soon after his sudden rise to fame in the scandalous Sin City Correctional Boxing League. Hop Box was hastily announced as the SCCBL champ after two highly-favored competitors were both found victim to debilitating yard-shankings just hours prior to their fights.

You lookin' at me mahn?

In the blue overalls and hailing from St. Genevieve, Missouri, weighing in at 6.5% ABV, Charleville Hoptimistic. In the naked-lady tattoos and hailing from Henderson, Nevada, tipping the scales at 9.3% ABV, Joseph James Hop Box.
The two meet in the middle of the ring to touch gloves and Hop Box throws an imperceptible, yet intimidating elbow to the chin of Hoptimistic. Boos from the crowd are followed by a warning from referee. This fight hasn’t even started and Hop Box has made itclear he is the villain.

1st Round: Appearance – As expected Hop Box rushes out to try and bully his opponent with a thick rusty amber color. A two-finger head slowly dissolves into dots of lacing. After laying back and withstanding these blows, Hoptimistic delivers a salvo of hazy bronze tint and small jabs of bubbles to keep Hop Box at bay. Hoptimistic’s head matches that of Hop Box. The bell is sounded. The judges scored this round a draw at 10-10.
2nd Round: Smell – As the round opens, Hop Box again bulldogs his way to the corner of Hoptimistic. Hop Box opens with large uppercuts of caramel malt and yeasty biscuit-dough. These are followed by hints of peppery spice and alcohol. Hoptimistic stands his ground from the malty pounding. He returns fire with strategically placed citrus and floral hooks. He’s working the body. Hop Box appears to wince as Hoptimistic continues with a barrage of orange pushpop-like shots of aroma to his opponent’s hefty frame. Hop Box seems grateful to hear the bell. The judges scored this round in favor of Hoptimistic, 10-9.
3rd Round: Mouthfeel – Feeling revived by his governance of the prior round, Hoptimistic is quick to strike. He moves up the body with a medium-bodied crispness. Hop Box rests and absorbs the stunning shots. He steps in with his full body and tries to score points with syrupy jabs. Hoptimistic finds an angle and delivers a solid overhand of great carbonization to the body as the round closes. Hoptimistic wins this round 10-9.
4th Round: Taste – Hop Box knows that he has to dominate the final round in order to have a shot at the title. He tries to overpower Hoptimistic with large caramel malt and alcohol haymakers. Hop Box is at a disadvantage in this round with a lack of accuracy. Hoptimistic’s light feet allow him to dodge these huge blows as the momentum shifts. Hoptimistic leads with a combination of citrus and floral punches. He backs Hop Box up and continues his ownership of the round. Ladies and gentlemen, Hoptimistic switches to Southpaw stance and bewilders his opponent. He’s now throwing large left-handed hooks of well-balanced bitterness at the head of Hop Box. Hop Box stumbles to the floor. The referee finishes his count as Hop Box stands on his shaky legs. His glassy eyes show the brutal 4 rounds of punishment he’s endured. The referee stops the fight. TKO.

Hoptimistic is declared the winner as the crowd is on their feet.
Down in the books goes yet another tale of an overmatched opponent standing his ground with balance. Hop Box is a good Imperial IPA with strong malt backbone and forceful nature . The high alcohol content lends to a heaviness that can be enjoyed in winter months. Hoptimistic won this bout with its inticing aroma, lively mouthfeel, and great combination of citrus, floral, and earthy bitterness that works hard for your attention.

You can find these great beers at the following places:

Alpine Liquor – Eureka Springs
Arka Valley Liquor – Atkins
Cheers Liquor – Springdale
Colonial Wine &  Spirits – Little Rock
County Line Liquor – Springdale
Crossover Liquor – Fayetteville
Fiesta Liqour – Springdale
Lawson Liqour – Little Rock
Macadoodles – Springdale
Premier Wine & Spirits – Fayetteville
Springhill Wine & Spirits – North Little Rock
Sullivant’s Liqour – Little Rock
The Bottle – Fayetteville
The Ridge Wine & Spirits – Little Rock
The Wine Rack – Hot Springs
Beef O’ Brady’s – Fort Smith
In Good Spirits – Fort Smith
71 South Liquor – Fort Smith
Empire Liqour – Fort Smith
Liquor Mart – Fort Smith
Shamrock Liquor – Fort Smith
On the Border Liquor – Fort Smith
Vincent’s Fine Wine & Liquor – Texarkana
Maumelle Wine & Spirits – Maumelle
Lake Liquor – Maumelle
Markham Street Liquor – Little Rock
Service Liquor & Wines – Hot Springs
O’Looney’s – Little Rock

Hop Box
Jack’s Package Store – Mountain Home
Judicious Spirits – Mountain Home
Macadoodles – Springdale
Pat’s Beverage Shop – North Little Rock
Premier Wine & Spirits – Fayetteville
Springhill Wine & Spirits – North Little Rock
The Bottle – Fayetteville
The Wine Rack – Hot Springs
Tri Lakes Spirits – Hot Springs
In Good Spirits – Fort Smith
Shamrock Liquor – Fort Smith
Lake Liquor – Maumelle


3 thoughts on “Farm Boy VS Bad Boy

  1. Rex says:

    Guess that big ol’ farmboy had a few tricks up his sleeve. I may have to break out that bomber of Hoptimistic this weekend! Wish it came in 6ers.

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