Spooky Story/Beer Review: Stillwater Artisinal Ales Cellar Door
Drink if you like: Funk (the flavor, not the music genre), Fall spices, mysteries, 70s cartoons.
We had all heard tales of unknown figures patrolling the old Withers place. Other stories included grown men entering the cellar, only to be found weeks later with no recollection of previous events. For years, this dilapidated farm house sat untouched, while attempts to investigate the mysteries surrounding this building had all ended in failure. I didn’t believe this small town folklore and wanted to see what everyone was afraid of, so my friends and I loaded up in the van one fall night to put some clarity to this mystery.
As the bare trees swayed in the crisp, night air, a rusty weather vane sounded in the distance through the dark moonlit night. Through intermittent flickers of light, an old farmhouse stood firmly rooted against the passing winds. A large porch engulfed the east side of the house with white paint curling from every inch of the weathered, century-old boards. Around the corner, shielded from the light of the pale night sky, sat an angled door made of battered, wooden planks. This marked the entrance to the forgotten cellar.
We drew straws to see who would approach the cellar door. I was left with this responsibility. As the others took their places, my hound dog and I eased around the old porch toward the darkened door. It took a few minutes to build up the courage to investigate further. While I reached down to grab the handle, we heard a scratching sound coming from the cellar. Terror froze us in our tracks. As the door slowly creaked open, we met a dark figure exiting the cellar. Was this a ghost or something far worse? As the figure arose, I knew our fate would soon be met. Our eyes affixed on the white mass as it seemed to hover in midair. Just then, my friends Fred and Daphne lowered a net they had set over the door… The ghostly thing was trapped! As we carefully advanced, Fred grabbed the figure and removed the sheet that masked its true identity. “OLD MAN WITHERS?!?!” we exclaimed in unison. Old Man Withers, the owner of the property, confessed to operating an illegal single-bottle beer store in the cellar and said he would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for us meddling kids. We didn’t take issue with the operation, but by then, the authorities had already caught wind of the skirmish. They hauled Old Man Withers away, but not before destroying the contents of the cellar and kicking out the intoxicated drifters. Scooby was able to grab a few bottles amidst the chaos. We jumped in the Mystery Machine and decided to give them a try.
Stillwater Artisanal Ales Cellar Door pours hazy golden hue with a dense, long lasting head. The aroma is eerily great! Notes of citrus, coriander and spooky sage spices, with noticeable barnyard funk. The taste is equally impressive and complex. Citrus esters and wheat grains are balanced by spices, a wonderful hop bitterness, and an earthy grassy component.
This beer is a wonderful representation of an American Farmhouse with a spice kick. We give it 4.5 stars.